Sweet Enough

The end of the honeymoon is fast approaching and it is time to move forward with grace and acceptance..."Each difficult moment has the potential to open my eyes and open my heart" ~ Myla Kabat-Zinn

Friday, April 21, 2006

Control Questions

Diabetes......it has been taking up a lot of my thinking time of late. Have I done the right thing stopping the insulin. I realise I have been managing fine without it but as I have said previously over the last four months things are changing and I have started to notice a pattern.

I seem to be fine for 6 weeks and then 6 weeks things will be pretty crappy and then the cycle starts again - does this mean that the honeymoon is coming to an end???? Who Knows????

I have noticed over the last month that I have become very tired and lethargic (thyroid is still borderline so not that) - could this be related to the Diabetes????

Should I consider just going back onto insulin now and getting back into a real routine of things before the honeymoon comes to an end or wait till I crash and burn again. May be that is what I am worrying about - crashing and burning - being in a country town where I still am not sure what would happen if something was to go wrong.

Would taking control of the Diabetes now give me some sort of ultimate control of how things would progress, etc. Or am I best leaving this alone and just waiting to see what happens????

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Study

After my birthday post, someone left a comment saying that you are never too old to study and I totally agree, but my problem is I can't make up my mind what I want to study.

All my teenage years I wanted to study Physiotherapy, but I knew that with my physical condition that would not be possible, so I looked into Pharmacy, but I suck at chemistry and I mean I really am dreadful at chemistry - I love the concepts and ideas behind chemistry, etc but I just can't get my head around it , so that became out of the question, until someone suggested Podiatry.

Everyone goes EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, but you have to understand I LOVE and ADORE feet and I had it all planned, my business name and I even had the sign design (though little Miss A chewed it but the concept is still there) and was going to introduce alternative practices as well such as reflexology, acupuncture, etc.......I got into University, but just missed the cut to get into Podiatry by 7.6 points so I went into a Bachelor of Life Science in human Biology and after a year I could transfer into Podiatry. I got the marks but at the interview they felt that I would not be able to do it physically I was absolutely devastated - how could they say that, they had no idea of my capabilities and how I can do anything I set my mind too do....anyway that was the end of Uni for me - if I couldn't do what I wanted to do then that was it for me....

Now in my working life it is coming to a stage where I need to go back and do a degree in something and I just can't make up my mind in what. I want it to be something to do with health as that is a passion of mine - I have thought along the lines of nutrition, occupational health and safety and mixing that up with a business degree (though that aspect would bore me to tears but would be advantageous) but the more I look the more possibilities I see then I look at how long it is going to take to actually complete it and is it really worth it....

SIGH it is a tough one.......to study or not to study and if so WHAT??????

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Happy Birthday To Me

Well I have reached the big 3-0.......it got me thinking, I am not one of those people who cares too much about age etc and that it is devastating to reach this age, but I did have things in mind that I would of achieved by the time I was 30.....and I haven't, not even one of them.

By the age of 30 I thought I would be happily married and have one child or have one on the way and would have my own successful podiatry practice. I am very single, definitely no children and not looking like ever having the opportunity to have them, never got to do my degree in podiatry - didn't even complete the degree I was doing.....

One of my friends from high school sent me this beautiful card and she said she had been thinking about what I thought I would of achieved by the age of 30 and she said I might not have achieved that, but you are an amazing friend with a beautiful personality and you have achieved so much just not in the way you had planned and that is ok......and you know what it is ok, but still....

My birthday didn't quite go to plan, was just my Dad and I in the end. My sister, brother-in-law, niece and nephew flew down to Perth to get their house ready to put on the market and my mum got flown down at the beginning of last week for some medical tests and she has been kept in Perth for some further testing....I haven't met to many people up here yet I really do have to get over being so shy......and this cyclone weather has just about done me in I was in bed by 6.30am on Friday night just couldn't handle being in so much pain and just wanted to go hide under the covers.....on the diabetes side of things I found it quite interesting to note that when my pain levels rise my blood sugars rise even though I had nothing to eat and had only been drinking water they still rose......something to think about......

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Atmospheric Changes

The cyclone last week really did a number on my body with all the atmospheric changes.....at home everyone is in shorts and tops complaining how hot and humid it is while outside it is blowing a gale with heavy rain and I am huddled in the corner with a tracksuit on shivering and complaining how cold it is and pain just rolling through my body......
My body started playing up a couple of days before hand and was starting to feel better at the beginning of this week.....BANG this morning they have named another cyclone of the coast of WA - Cyclone Hubert. It is only a category 1 at the moment and it should skip over where I live but boy it is extremely windy and ominous-looking outside and it has been like that for the last 48 hours.....my body is screaming HERE WE GO AGAIN.....
Roll on the end of April is all I can say - the end of the cyclone season....